It's not unusual for men and women to be friends. You certainly have female friends, and your girlfriend no doubt has male friends, but if her best friend is a guy, well, that's a different story.
You meet a woman whom you think is wonderful & your type of girl. Both of you are getting along well. However, you found out that there is just one small detail that you can’t seem to get beyond… Her best friend is a guy.
I know what you’re probably thinking … “Well, what’s wrong with that?”
To be quite frank, a lot. You see, it’s rare to find a man that’s actively looking for female best friends. (Find me one, and I’ll find you a liar.) Sex always gets in the way,. Therefore, if a guy and a girl appear to be best friends, it's necessarily because one of them secretly wants to see the other naked.
So how do you tackle this issue if you found out that her best friend is a guy?
Don't Express Jealousy
Stay cool and don't show sign of jealousy. When she initially reveals that her best friend’s name is Tony and not Tonya, expect her to search for any signs of displeasure in your demeanor. Why? It's likely that your girl has dumped many previous boyfriends because he couldn't handle the fact that her best friend is a guy. Instead, try to acknowledge how glad you are that she has good people in her life. Besides, jealousy makes you look insecure.
Meet The Best Friend
Arrange to meet her best friend. It's the only way you'll be able to accurately assess their relationship. It's the only way you'll be able to accurately assess their relationship. Does he stare at her longingly? Does she flirt with him?
You may try to ask her questions about their friendship. Did they used to date ? Does she flirt with him ? Once you gather the proper background information, you can then begin to assess his mindset. After all, your main concern is his intentions … not hers.
Be Nice
There’s no sense in being rude, or acting like you disapprove of his presence in her life. She's going to judge you based on how you treat her friends, so make a real effort every time he's around. Take the road less traveled by getting to know him. This approach provides you with a clearer sense of why she values his friendship & if you're consistently nice to him, and he's consistently a dick to you, you'll be the nice guy who's making an effort, and he'll be the jerk..
Find Him A Girlfriend
Try to hook him up with an acquaintance or two. You can even suggest that the four of you go on a double date.
Take His Place
The final step is to take his place. Be there whenever she needs you. If she enjoys his company while grocery shopping, then it’s time for you to get behind that cart and start pushing. Encourage her whenever she starts complaining about him. Be there whenever the two of them get into an argument. But remember, don't try to insult or talk bad about him in front of her. If you manage to get this done, their relationship will begin to change.
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