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Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt, angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel better right NOW?’ Here are some suggestions that I hope will help.


  • Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.

  • Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.

  • Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.

  • Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.

  • Start Dating. You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego.

  • Don’t fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t.

  • Take up a hobby. Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it.

  • Don’t rush into another relationship. While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.

  • Avoid dwelling on it. I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!

  • Build your ego. I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.

Patricia Fason

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Romance is a state of mind. If you have the right mindset, you can make cleaning the bathroom or the garage romantic; if you have the wrong mindset, you can turn a candlelit dinner in a war zone. So mind set is important for romancing.

Romance is also about the small things. It is not the big and extravagant gestures. Tiny gestures are much more powerful and sincere. These tiny signals make daily life special especially for your lover.

In addition to romance, there are two kinds: Mandatory romance and Discretionary romance. Mandatory romance is celebrating birthdays, getting a gift for Christmas or Valentine's Day. Discretionary romance is making little surprises, candlelit dinners, weekend get-aways, sending cards, escaping from the kids, massages, surprise dates, walks on the beach, exercising together, love letters and so on. To maintain a romantic relationship, it is highly recommended to incorporate these two types of romances.

Romance is also about listening. Listening is one of the most important communication tips in any relationship. Not just listening with your ears, but really listening with your heart is very romantic. Too many couples don't listen to each other and this causes strain in the relationship. So the next time your lover wants to talk about how their day went at work - just listen!

With these tips on romance, the sparks will always keep firing in any relationship. Moreover, your lover will always stay and not run away.

Suz Reid

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Tired of doing all the legwork? Find out how to get that hot filly to come over and approach you for a change.

Smile
Simple right? Looking happy makes people want to be near you. You're approachable and fun. So keep a grin on your face, smile easily and often. Think of things that make you warm and joyful and you'll exude that.

Make an Eye Contact
Don't avert your gaze or freeze like a deer in the headlights. When someone makes eye contact, either purposefully or inadvertently, simply smile. Think of yourself as the cruise director putting your passengers at ease. If you're prone to high pressure, scary thoughts about getting her to like you and not looking dorky, you'll smile like an escaped patient from the pysch ward, so think about how insecure other people might be feeling and give them a reassuring smile!

Have Objects of Interest on or Around You
Pets are such chick magnets, slogan shirts - something cute, political, funny or out of the ordinary. Books, magazines - what if you had the hottest best-seller or a cool, unusual periodical that might draw attention? The New York Times crossword puzzle is popular and, if you're feeling brave, you can ask someone nearby for help with a tough clue. Leave the porn and Guns and Ammo magazines at home or you'll narrow your attraction possibilities considerably.

Give Comment On Things Around You
Make a no-response needed observation. I.e. "Cool backpack," "I love your haircut," "Cute puppy." You get the idea. Make a good-natured, genuine observation. It can't be contrived. If she has boring hair and you say, "Killer coiff" you'll sound phoney. So locate something you genuinely find special and tell her in a way that requires no follow up. Then you've opened the door to her approaching you, without creating the impression that you're hitting on her.

Look Great
Make sure you don't look like you're trying too hard. No "lift" shoes or statement jeans. Be comfortable, but classic, clean and, of course, yummy-smelling (No heavy cologne please. Most women aren't crazy about the stuff as it's often heavy and easily over-applied).

Talk To Other People Around
By that I don't mean other women. Even the idea that you may be going from one single woman to the next until you find one that sticks will repel her! Instead, talk to old ladies, little kids and other guys. Show her what a friendly, non-threatening fellow you are! Tell someone near her how awesome their t-shirt or laptop is or how much you love the book they're reading. She'll wonder why you didn't talk to her possibly! And she'll put you in the "safe" category, not with the creepy guys on the make!

Keep Your Body Language Masculine But Open
Women like men who take up space, stand tall and fill a room. Be sure you don't crossing your legs and arms away from her, creating barriers and deflecting her attention. Be open.

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It's not unusual for men and women to be friends. You certainly have female friends, and your girlfriend no doubt has male friends, but if her best friend is a guy, well, that's a different story.

You meet a woman whom you think is wonderful & your type of girl. Both of you are getting along well. However, you found out that there is just one small detail that you can’t seem to get beyond… Her best friend is a guy.

I know what you’re probably thinking … “Well, what’s wrong with that?”

To be quite frank, a lot. You see, it’s rare to find a man that’s actively looking for female best friends. (Find me one, and I’ll find you a liar.) Sex always gets in the way,. Therefore, if a guy and a girl appear to be best friends, it's necessarily because one of them secretly wants to see the other naked.

So how do you tackle this issue if you found out that her best friend is a guy?

Don't Express Jealousy

Stay cool and don't show sign of jealousy. When she initially reveals that her best friend’s name is Tony and not Tonya, expect her to search for any signs of displeasure in your demeanor. Why? It's likely that your girl has dumped many previous boyfriends because he couldn't handle the fact that her best friend is a guy. Instead, try to acknowledge how glad you are that she has good people in her life. Besides, jealousy makes you look insecure.

Meet The Best Friend

Arrange to meet her best friend. It's the only way you'll be able to accurately assess their relationship. It's the only way you'll be able to accurately assess their relationship. Does he stare at her longingly? Does she flirt with him?

You may try to ask her questions about their friendship. Did they used to date ? Does she flirt with him ? Once you gather the proper background information, you can then begin to assess his mindset. After all, your main concern is his intentions … not hers.

Be Nice

There’s no sense in being rude, or acting like you disapprove of his presence in her life. She's going to judge you based on how you treat her friends, so make a real effort every time he's around. Take the road less traveled by getting to know him. This approach provides you with a clearer sense of why she values his friendship & if you're consistently nice to him, and he's consistently a dick to you, you'll be the nice guy who's making an effort, and he'll be the jerk..

Find Him A Girlfriend

Try to hook him up with an acquaintance or two. You can even suggest that the four of you go on a double date.


Take His Place

The final step is to take his place. Be there whenever she needs you. If she enjoys his company while grocery shopping, then it’s time for you to get behind that cart and start pushing. Encourage her whenever she starts complaining about him. Be there whenever the two of them get into an argument. But remember, don't try to insult or talk bad about him in front of her. If you manage to get this done, their relationship will begin to change.

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What most employees do not realise is that many executives who hire and fire are also basing their decisions on the individual's total package - presence, positivity, poise, perseverance and your professional style.

Possessing the right qualifications and talent are not important factors, but it's the way individuals present themselves that help them win instant appeal in the eyes of an employer. People who present themselves well are more certain to get noticed and will win the highly sought-after jobs.

So how would you rate in a Business Idol competition? Let the five Ps of packaging be the guiding light to your professional success.

Presence
People with outstanding presence show that they are committed to and enjoying the moment. They are energised from the inside and are intent on letting people know that they are approachable and "open for business". It is that unique factor that makes others turn their heads when these special people enter he room.

Professional style
Understanding your strengths and building on the good things you already possess. Start by asking yourself how you see yourself and how you would like to be perceived in your corporate environment. Are you the rare type who constantly projects a "can do" attitude? Does everyone know you as the person who fixes almost anything ? Or do you have a reputation for having a sloppy, almost laid-back work ethic?

Poise
Poise is more than just holding your head up high. It involves thinking about your actions and words before being swept away in the heat of the moment. Showing professional poise means taking time to think through your next move and using non-threatening, positive body language. This shows that you are in control, and it is particularly useful when your authority is being questioned.

Positivity
Being positive about your work and those around you can be tough to maintain day in and day out. The trick is to know that being positive is contagious. By behaving in an upbeat and confident way, you make others feel confident about you. Make a point of eliminating negative and antagonistic language from your vocabulary.

Perseverance
Confident people get knocked down but have enough fighting spirit to pick themselves up and battle it out another day. People who constantly persevere often realise that they have little control over circumstances. These people do not wait around to feel better. They take action to make things better.

By designing a sparkling professional package around these five Ps, you can rest assured that you are giving yourself the best possible opportunity for a perfect career score.